Seasonal Mood Changes In Children: What To Expect And How To Help
Seasonal mood changes in children are a real concern for many families. After years of trial and error, we are heading into a season that us typically quite difficult for him. Here is what has helped in the past and what are planning for this year.
It took me years to put the pieces together.
Some years, I blamed back to school stress – a new routine and learning expectations certainly cause some dysregulation.
Others, I didn’t notice at all until things were so bad, I didn’t remember what month it was anyway.
Then, my son’s doctor asked me for a detailed behavioral timeline, and I mean detailed. Month by month, even week by week if I could, I used old journals and past therapists evaluations to put together an overview of my child’s health and struggles for three solid years.
It was so obvious then, looking at the patterns, written out on paper.
My son struggles with seasonal mood changes.
Related: Mood Tracker For Your Child – See Patterns At A Glance
Call it what you like – Seasonal Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Mood Disorder – this is a very real and very difficult reality to manage when your child is the one experiencing it.
Every year, right about when I randomly notice that it is getting dark a little earlier, I also begin to notice that my son is just a bit off. Nothing major – just a little less ability to cope, a little more irritability, a little less activity.
In past years, I have noticed and even reported it to his doctors. Every year, the responses were the same.
Well, let’s wait and see. It’s back to school after all.
He seems fine to me.
You seem a little hyper vigilant about this. Maybe you need some self care?
I would push my worries aside and assume I was just being a helicopter mom.
Then, every single year, by mid-October, our lives would be turned upside down. Sleep became impossible for my sweet boy, and the less sleep he got, the worse he felt during the day. The worse he felt during the day, the more irritability and out of control he became.
Twice, he even ended ended up hospitalized.
Seasonal Changes In Our Children’s Behavior And Mood
Last summer, I found a new doctor and explained my concerns about the seasonality of my son’s symptoms.
She not only listened and agreed, but began to think about treatment options specifically for the late September – November time frame. For the first time, we were able to navigate the fall with no major complications. It was still very, very difficult for my son, but so much better than the years prior.
This year, we are even more prepared and I am more hopeful than I have ever been.
Seasonal Mood Changes In Children: How To Help
Here is what has worked, both medically and behaviorally for my son. (Please know, I am just a mom. I am not a medical professional. I am sharing this simply because I know how hard it is to figure this out and how little support there is in doing so.)
Sleep
I am militant in the late summer and early fall about my son’s sleep routines and patterns. We don’t do anything that would take him out of the house and delay his bedtime. He goes to bed at exactly the same time in exactly the same way, every single night without exception. (Like I said, militant.)
If he starts to struggle with sleep, even with our careful routine – and he does, every year right around mid-September – his doctor prescribes a sleep aid to temporarily get us through the season.
Increased Activity
In addition to our usual exercise, I have added one additional fun activity each week that increases his activity level. For example, one year, in addition to rock climbing weekly, he is took boxing lessons twice a week.
This year, we added working out at a gym that he has always wanted to go to.
I used to try to increase his daily activity through walking the dog or playing outside, but found he would resist much more than if we had a planned, dedicated activity a few times a week.
Less Requirements
Although I add an activity based requirement, I have learned that this season is not the time to introduce new learning or require my son to attend any social gatherings that are already difficult for him in the best circumstances. I am careful with our family schedule and only do the basics for the six weeks I know to be the most difficult for him.
As his primary caregiver, I have also cleared my calendar of most requirements on me for the month of October and November. In the past, I have been a little too hopeful. Too many times I have had to cancel arrangements at the last minute or miss deadlines, simply because it was mid-October. Now, I just plan to do less.
Medication Adjustments
Having a doctor who believes this is real and responds accordingly has been a lifesaver. This year, my son’s doctor slightly increased his medication proactively, as soon as the mood instability began. It has seriously changed the month of September in our home and for the first time, we are heading into October without feeling like the world is crashing down around us.
(Having a doctor who is willing to believe that seasonal changes are real for your child and treat accordingly is invaluable. It is also, I know, not easy to find.)
This is always a difficult time of year in our home.
Although my son is still struggling a bit, and probably always will as the days of summer become fall, this year is the best he’s been. Although he still is experiencing increasingly erratic behavior and irritability, he is able to engage in his days and keep his usual routines. The difference is huge.
So far so good. Now, we wait and stick to the plan.
We hope that spring comes early.
What Our Homeschool Looks Like With Seasonal Mood Changes
When dealing with these mood changes, we take it easy. Very, very easy.
For example, an entire homeschool week might include Tuesday and Thursday art and music classes only. Then, we spend the rest of the week rock climbing, watching YouTube videos, listening to spooky stories, and writing poetry and song lyrics.
Writing (typing) song lyrics and poetry has proven to be a great way to help my son navigate some of the overwhelming emotions and mood instability he is experiencing. This is not something he would have been able to do a few years ago, but as he gets older, this mode of expression has been helpful for learning and for overall emotional stability.
That’s it. That’s the week. I used to feel guilty, sure that I was failing my child. Now, I know that an anxious and overwhelmed learner learns nothing anyway.
The goal shifts to stability, care, and relationship.
My experience has been that this is what matters most in seasons of mood instability.
O my gosh! My sweetie was so challenging this spring and has been again the last week or two…I was just saying to my husband this morning, it really seems like it’s when the seasons change…and then this was in my inbox today! Thank you for telling me I’m not crazy ?❤️
You are NOT crazy!!! This is real.
Shawna
My one daughter’s depression definitely ramps up this time of year. Last year I reread the following, posted by the blogger Dooce, and was able to assure my daughter that it’s more of a common thing than we realized, and that it will pass. Feeling like she wasn’t alone was so helpful.
https://dooce.com/2014/09/18/dane-depression-fall-equinox/
https://dooce.com/2011/09/29/autumnal-equinox/
(note she uses some adult language)
You know what???? I just realized my other daughter has been struggling more just this second as I reread what I wrote. Guess I’m going to share it with her as well! Thank you!
Omg yes!! This is my son every. single. year. Moving to Wisconsin has made it exponentially worse 😥 We were in SUCH a good place and as soon as it started getting cold, he regressed so much. I feel like we are back to square one some days. It’s absolutely hard but you definitely aren’t alone!