Dear Single Mom,
I have been thinking of you all week-long.
As the day gets closer, I can’t help but remember you.
Mothers Day may be a mixed day for you, I know. I was a single mom for almost five years. My sister was for seven, and my mother has been a single mom for almost the entirety of her four children’s lives.
Mothers Day can be an awkward holiday for the single mom.
Without a husband, without a dad…who will pamper you, encourage your children to let you sleep in, make you breakfast, and shower you with gifts?
It’s unfair. You deserve these things as much, if not more, than any other mom.
There may also a part of you that feels bad for your child on Mothers Day. You wish they had someone to help them with the crazy gift they dream of giving you. You worry that your sons might grow up not really knowing how to care for their wives. Or that your daughters won’t know how to receive and allow their husbands’ care.
It hurts to feel sadness and guilt, on a day that is supposed to be about celebrating you.
Maybe you feel angry, wounded, left out, not enough.
Maybe you have a great “support system” and love them dearly. But at the end of the day, after the barbecue they invited you to, as grateful as you are, you still go home to it being all on you.
Maybe you are like my mom, and have gone a few Mothers Days without your children really being old enough to remember to do anything anyway. The day passes, year after year, just like any other.
To The Single Mom On Mothers Day
The most difficult part about being a single mom for me was the intense pressure of responsibility.
It was all on me – providing, nurturing, caring for, teaching, disciplining – it felt like there was no safe place to just be.
Being a single mom can be crushing.
So for Mother’s Day this year, I want to gently, lovingly say – You are not alone.
Even if you have absolutely no help…
Even if you have been a widow since your child was a baby…
Even if your children’s father left you without any involvement on his part…
You are not alone.
For Mother’s Day this year, I hope you get some rest.
I hope you get a sweet handmade card or craft from school.
I hope the people who love you, see you and shower you with attention.
I hope your children give you an extra hug, sweet snuggles, and plenty of smiles.
I hope you splurge a little, and see a movie or get a manicure. Bring the kids. The other ladies at the salon will understand, and even if they don’t, that’s on them – it is Mother’s Day after all. If nothing else, serve the meals you like (no chicken fingers) and bake your own cake. Let the kids decorate it (but trust me, don’t leave them alone with the sprinkles).
And even if none of this happens, I hope that deep down, you would hear me, would believe me when I say –
You are a momma. You are so very special and important and powerful.
I am celebrating you this weekend.
There is no one like you in your child’s life. You can do this. You will do this.
Happy Mother’s Day.
More Thoughts On Motherhood:
Shawna Wingert is a former training and development professional turned education specialist, and has homeschooled her two children for the last ten years.Shawna has written four books about homeschooling unique learners and has been featured in homeschooling discussions on Today.com, The Mighty, Simple Homeschool, My Little Poppies and Raising Lifelong Leaners.
You can find her online here at DifferentByDesignLearning.com.