single mom at christmas
Motherhood

To The Single Mom At Christmas

This is a letter to the single mom at Christmas. 


Dear Single Mom,

I have been thinking of you since Thanksgiving.

As Christmas gets closer and closer, I have been praying for your heart.

This time of year is hard for you, I know. I was a single mom for almost five years. My sister was for seven. And my mother has been a single mom for almost the entirety of her children’s lives.

 

To The Single Mom at Christmas #singlemom #christmas #motherhood

 

The holidays were, by far, the most difficult times for me as a single mom. I can still feel the intense sadness, mixed with grief and fear, alone at the Christmas Eve service that first year. A custody agreement always includes who has the kids when on every holiday. This year, it was my turn to celebrate without any kiddos lighting candles at the service, waking me up the next morning, looking for their stockings, eating Christmas tree shaped pancakes, and playing with new toys .

Or the following year, when my boys were with me. It felt like we were surrounded by all the dads carrying kids on their shoulders at the mall, videotaping the first grade holiday concert, dragging Christmas trees out of the lot, standing in line for Santa pictures while their wives shopped for gifts.

I remember exactly how it felt. It felt lonely. It felt different. It felt somehow less than.

I know not every single mom feels this way. There are over 14.8 million single moms in American today. Not all single moms share the same experience. I totally understand that.  In fact, many woman have commented on my Single Mom on Mother’s Day post, outraged that I would even consider it a difficult.

I am not writing this for them. I can only share my own experience here, and I have learned that many of you feel exactly the same.

 

To The Single Mom At Christmas

 

The most difficult part about being a single mom for me, especially at Christmas, was the intense pressure of responsibility.
Every single day, it was all on me – providing, nurturing, caring for, teaching, disciplining – it felt like there was no safe place to just be.

Then add all the holiday stuff – the shopping, the gift wrapping, remembering the advent calendar, getting the tree, hanging up the decorations – I wanted my boys to have a “normal Christmas”. And every year, I was completely overwhelmed.

Being a single mom can be crushing, especially this time of year.

 

single mom at christmas

 

So as we get closer to Christmas, I want to gently, lovingly say – You are not alone.

Even if you have absolutely no help…

Even if you have been a widow since your child was a baby…

Even if your children’s father left you without any involvement on his part…

You are not alone.

You may be a single mom at Christmas, but I want you to know that God has you in this. He is the best Father there is – for you sweet mom, and for you little ones.

It’s the reason we celebrate this season in the first place. Jesus came for you, for me, for our children.
I pray this year, that He would help you feel lighter, and so lavishly loved.

 

To The Single Mom At Christmas

 

To The Single Mom At Christmas

I pray that no matter how difficult your circumstances may be right now, He would remind you that He doesn’t make mistakes. You are exactly where you are supposed to be in God’s economy. So are your children.

I pray you get some rest, somehow.

I pray you get a sweet handmade card, or craft from school.

I pray the people who love you, see you and shower you with attention and help around the house.

I pray your children give you an extra hug, sweet snuggles, and plenty of smiles.

And even if none of this happens, I pray that deep down, you would hear me, would believe me when I say –

You are a mother. You are so very special and important and powerful.

I am celebrating you this Christmas.

There is no one like you in your child’s life. You can do this and, by the grace of God, you will do this.

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.
Love, Shawna

 

For More Encouragement And Support:

10 Things We Don’t Do To Celebrate Christmas

Navigating The Holidays With Special Needs

The Holidays and Extended Family

To The Mom Who Feels Like She’s Lost Control Of Her Child

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6 Comments

  1. thank you so much for caring enough to send a single mother this message I’m sure everything many single mothers at this time thank you for your beautiful heart god bless you and Merry Christmas

  2. Thanks for this …for your thoughtfulness, especially with all you have going on. I am a new single mom this year and you were writing about me. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. But yes, by the grace of God, I will do it. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  3. Thank you, Shawna, for this post. I have been A Single Mom at Christmas for 6 years now … my husband passed away from a terrible disease and it’s been my two littles (who are now 11 and 14!) for all this time. Every year I think I’m going to be swallowed up in the season, yet every year we make it through with God’s beautiful Grace. I love what you said about “you are right where you need to be in God’s economy”. That is a powerful statement and one I intend to keep tucked away for those really hard days. Thanks again!

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, Roxy. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your willingness to share.
      Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season, filled with His peace.
      With love,
      Shawna

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