Homeschooling As A Single Parent: Practical Tips and Encouragement
Homeschooling as a single parent isn’t easy, but it is absolutely possible. In this post, learn practical tips and encouragement for navigating life as a single parent, and read one mom’s story.
Believe it or not, I was a single mom when I first made the decision to homeschool my children. Then, I became a single mom again when my youngest child began his final year homeschooling high school.
One of my closest friends homeschooled her child as a single mom all throughout most of his education.
I have worked with and know many moms who have done the same.
Single Parent Homeschooling: It’s Different By Design
Over the years, I have come to understand that homeschooling as a single parent is yet another unique circumstance in which homeschooling can be both a challenge and a blessing.
Not unlike homeschooling a child with additional needs, homeschooling as single parent is a circumstance that requires a unique approach, tons of creativity, and a willingness to let go of our own shame and expectations associated with both parenting and education.
I chose the name Different By Design Learning years ago because of the benefits I experienced in taking a different, very intentional approach to educating my children.
I now believe that single parent homeschooling is yet another approach that is certainly different, but no less possible or impactful for our children’s education.
Is It Possible To Homeschool As A Single Parent?
The short answer is yes! The much more realistic answer is, yes with the understanding that you will necessarily need to do it a bit differently than the traditional homeschool family.
Different, but doable and likely, incredibly beneficial – this is how I would describe the single parent homeschool experience.
Want an inside look at homeschooling as a single mom?
Single Parent Homeschooling Tips
My desire with this post is to probably reinforce what you already know and maybe throw in a few helpful tips along the way.
Homeschooling as a single parent is a ton of responsibility, but for me, it’s also been a rewarding opportunity to continue to provide my child a personalized, strength based education.
It has been almost crushing at times, managing the day to day household duties, my son’s learning needs, and working full time. In desperation and with a ton of prayer however, I was able to find strategies that made homeschooling both manageable and successful in our home.
Here are my top tips for homeschooling as a single parent:
1. Set Realistic Expectations
This is, by far, my most important tip. Whether you are considering homeschooling for the first time, or perhaps, like me, have been homeschooling all along but now find yourself doing it as single mom, it’s essential to be honest with yourself about what you can realistically handle.
You are a human being. You have needs of your own and may be struggling through a season of loss. You are likely balancing more than you are comfortable with or would want. All of this is valid and matters!
What worked best for me was to accept the reality that I literally could not homeschool my son the way I used to, or the way either of us were accustomed to. Instead, I created a kind of survival mode homeschool plan, something that I had also done in the past during my son’s medical crises.
We didn’t stay in this survival mode forever (we never do), but it did give me chance to catch my breath, take care of my own mental health, and still make sure the basics were covered.
Looking back, I can see that there were a few, really practical, super simple things that helped. I’ve compiled them all in this workbook for you (for us?).
2. It’s OK To Increase Online Resources and Tools
It’s OK to pivot and use more online curriculums, learning apps, and educational videos to homeschool. This not only decreases the amount of time you will need to devote to lesson planning, it also allows your child to work independently – which you definitely need!
YouTube, by far, has been an outstanding resource for me and my kids throughout our years homeschooling. This was especially true as I began homeschooling as single parent.
YouTube was so valuable, I created a list of crowdsourced favorites to frequently refer to.
Still feeling a little screentime guilt?
Maybe this will help. In this day and age, a significant amount of learning is delivered online – even for adults. When my son started his first job, he had to navigate an online learning platform for training. You are actually preparing your child for the real world!
3. Time Blocks Are New Your Best Friend
The only way I have been able to successfully work, medically care for, and educate my son, while also making sure the toilet wasn’t a crime scene and that dinner would be ready was to commit to time blocking my schedule. I may share more about this in the future, but here is a summary.
I commit certain timeframes each day to the bigger picture tasks that need to get done. But here’s the most important part – then I actually only do the tasks I planned for in those time blocks.
Here is a real life example of one day’s time blocked schedule:
5:00 AM – 8:00 AM: Personal Time and Work
8:00 AM – 10:00 AM: Get medications ready for the day, walk the dog, get breakfast, shower
10:00 AM – 12:30 PM: Work
12:30 PM – 4:30 PM: Lunch and Homeschool (also nap on the couch during one YouTube video about the three branches of government)
4:30 PM – 7:00 PM: Work (after dropping my son off to rock climb)
7:00 PM – 9:30 PM: Dinner while watching one more educational video, Hang out together, Go to bed
Now, these don’t always go exactly as planned and if my son if having a tough day, I may need to change things up on the fly. The value is in knowing and committing to letting go of one part of my life so that I can move onto the next.
With so many responsibilities, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. This approach helps me control what I can control for very specific timeframes and then move on.
If you don’t have the flexibility in your job – let’s say you work outside the home 9-5 – I think time blocking will be even more important. Committing to what needs to happen in your homeschool outside your work hours in the blocks of time you have left, will help decrease the overwhelm and actually get things done!
4. Focus on Your Child’s Interests
If you have read anything else about my educational approach, you already know I am a huge proponent of interest-led learning. Homeschooling as a single parent means I have doubled down on this approach.
Interest-led, strength based learning is not only more effective for understanding and retaining important concepts, it decreases resistance and increases your child’s overall confidence as a learner.
Interest led learning is more efficient, and efficiency is something I desperately need as a single homeschool mom.
I shared more about this in an episode of The Homeschool Sisters Podcast.
5. Be Gentle on Yourself
I am always my harshest critic. My guess is you are too.
I have spent almost every single year as a homeschool mom convinced I was failing my children. This only intensified when I found myself completely alone as a parent.
What helps?
Reminding myself that I am only one person.
Reminding myself that there is no way my son would be better off, adjusting to going to school, as he adjusts to the implosion of our family.
Reminding myself that no matter what, I care more and will work harder than anyone else to do the very best I can for him.
It’s also reminding myself of what I have been learning here all along – education is not a one size fits all proposition. It never has been.
So when I don’t get to all the things on the lesson plan for the week, or my child needs to grieve and decompress as much as I do, letting go of how it “should be” and embracing what is is a form of self-care. I have found it is also part of homeschooling, whether we are single or not.
The Hardest Part of Homeschooling As A Single Parent
What was the most difficult part of homeschooling on my own as a single mom? The fact that is was all on me.
No longer was it just the work of homeschooling my son – it was also my job to pay the bills and provide for every aspect of our lives.
Balancing full time work and homeschooling felt impossible at first. I want you to know you are not alone if you panic every time you really consider the reality of what you are undertaking.
Add to it the reality that many of us are, at the same time, dealing with the intense emotions associated with the loss of our marriage and it’s easy to want to run to your bed and hide under the covers.
Opt For Flexible Work If At All Possible
If at all possible, my advice is to work in positions and for employers that allow flexibility. I make less money than I would if I went back to a traditional job full time, but the clients I work for are generous with their understanding of my limitations and allow me to work during the portions of the day that make sense for my family.
For example, I work six days a week, but adjust the hours each day to the needs of my son.
I realize I am tremendously privileged to have this opportunity. I am not sure how I would care for my son without this flexibility, much less have homeschooled him .
If it is at all possible, I strongly recommend that you pursue work that gives you the most flexibility. For example, my back-up plan, if I am not able to make ends meet is not to go back to a corporate job full-time. It’s to deliver groceries for Instacart and take my son along with me. We will call it life skills class.
It certainly doesn’t pay what my old job did, but it gives me the chance to balance his needs with my need to work and provide for all our needs.
The Advantages Of Single Parent Homeschooling
It may surprise you when I say that I believe there are some distinct advantages of homeschooling on your own. I have done it both ways, as a married mom and as a single mom, and I can see that the years my children and I spent learning alone provided some very real advantages.
Homeschooling is stressful enough.
Homeschooling our children is a huge undertaking. The truth is, it was sometimes much more difficult to do it well when I was navigating the betrayals and difficulties in my marriage.
Once I was single, our day to day became very simple. Work to provide, complete some learning, take care of ourselves – that was it.
One day, after a few months on my own, I realized that homeschooling was stressful enough without the pressure and toxicity of a failing marriage. It felt easier somehow, doing it alone.
Relationship Matters
The number one advantage of homeschooling, for me personally, is the relationship it allowed me to cultivate with my kids. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to homeschool, even as a single parent.
The truth is, the relationships we had were what sustained my kids and I through all the difficulties. It helped them process the breakdown of our family. It helped me feel connected to something bigger than my own fear and anxiety.
As a single parent, choosing to homeschool can have a wonderful impact on the relationships you have with your children. This will matter so much more than you give it credit for in the day to day reality.
Yes, You Can Homeschool As A Single Parent!
I do hope that this thorough review of single parent homeschooling has helped alleviate your fears and answered your questions. Please know, although it is not easy to take on the heavy load of both parenting alone and homeschooling alone, it is absolutely possible.
It may be different, but it will be just as beneficial for your child’s education. It may even be exactly what you need as a family!
