On The Worst Days: Support For The Special Needs Mom
My son is sleeping right now.
Even as he sleeps, he calls for me about every hour or so.
“MommaMommaMommaMomma,” he slurs in a haze of medicine and pain.
By the time I get to him, he has usually settled and is sleeping soundly again.
Like last year, he is experiencing severe side effects from medications that are essential for his well-being.
Like last year, we have been in and out of the hospital twice and may need to head in again if we are not able to stabilize him as an outpatient.
Like last year, my heart is breaking.
On The Worst Days
Seeing your child in intense physical and psychological pain, with no real solution or time frame for healing, brings a type of terror to motherhood that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It’s a living nightmare.
I wake each morning with a crushing realization that we will need to live through another day of panic attacks, vomiting, unremitting pain, and meltdowns.
I am not sure what day it is.
On the worst days, I am acutely aware of how much loss there is, this side of heaven. The only original prayer I can utter right now is, “Please, help my baby.”
But there are several bible verses that stay with me, day and night. They float in and out of my consciousness, tucked away, ready to remind me, to encourage me and to strengthen me.
I am so grateful for these verses. They are the most practical way I know to survive what feels unsurvivable.
Support For The Special Needs Mom
I am sharing these short little verses today, as much for myself as for you. The act of gathering them and typing them onto the screen acts like a balm to my aching heart. Maybe reading them in this context will do the same for yours.
We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you. (2 Chronicles 20)
And God heard the voice of the boy, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar?Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is.” (Genesis 21)
You are the God of my salvation. On you I wait all the day long. (Psalm 25)
And Jesus said to them, “Do you believe I am able to do this?” (Matthew 9)
The Lord is just; he is my rock. (Psalm 92)
He gently leads those with young. (Isaiah 40)
I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told. (Habakkuk 1)
This God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true. (2 Samuel 22)
For He will give his angels orders concerning you, to protect you in all your ways. (Psalm 91)
Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. (Luke 6)
Look at the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. (1 Chronicles 16)
Do not fear; only believe. (Luke 8)
and of course…
Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43)
Shawna Wingert is a former training and development professional turned education specialist, and has homeschooled her two children for the last ten years.Shawna has written four books about homeschooling unique learners and has been featured in homeschooling discussions on Today.com, The Mighty, Simple Homeschool, My Little Poppies and Raising Lifelong Leaners.
You can find her online here at DifferentByDesignLearning.com.
Praying for you and your family. Words fail me but I’m praying for you, sweet sister. Thank you for those beautiful verses.
I didn’t realize the title of your blog came from a bible verse, I love that!! Hang in there mama, praying God will give you strength for each day and that your son will begin to benefit without suffering very soon; praying for his peace and comfort until then. In Jesus name
I always wondered about your title. Love it!
Praying for you and your family!
Still sending hug and prayers your way, sweet friend.
This verse has always spoken to me as the mom of 8. “He gently leads those with young.” (Isaiah 40) There were many days that I wondered at the validity of that verse. I have learned to believe that verse as I have learned to walk by faith and not by sight and to know that God is truly working everything in our lives for good. I am praying for you and your beautiful boy. How blessed he is to have a mama that trusts the Lord!
Shawna I can empathize with you. My daughter is medically fragile and medically complex with a rare chromosomal abnormality. She’s nonverbal and has some neurosensory issues. There have been hospital stays where she has cried and screamed for 24 hours straight. Because we didn’t know why she was crying, we had to guess the remedy for her discomfort or displeasure. The nurses, doctors, and I were exhausted and baffled. I cried because I couldn’t help my child. My husband looked on helplessly as well. All we could do was pray. Thanks for the encouragement. Praying God sends comfort, peace, strength, and restoration to you all soon.
Thank you for posting those verses. When times are tough I found myself turning to gospel music as well as verses that encourage me. I will just play it constantly in order to have the truth of the Word sung into my consciousness. I’m currently enjoying “the Lord is My Light and Salvation” by William Murphy. I pray that your sons pain will cease soon.
Forgive me, I didn’t know that you were going through this. Know that I am thinking of you and you have my love and deep empathy.
I watched a child I live on life support for 6 weeks, all the families had a story of love and hope. The mother’s eyes were the worst to look at, that scared desperate look. Some hoping for life minute by minute and some losing the fight. Mothers have to be the strongest force and the loudest advocate. Mine had a happy ending so far, I am sending you strength and peace. There is a song from church that says”unto this rock I”m clinging”. May God be your rock, and you be your son’s.
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