I find myself questioning my choices as a mom all the time, asking – Who is the best person to help my child with special needs?
We did it again this week.
My son completed a second round of IVIG.
It was a lot more difficult this time. The actual procedure itself and healing time after went very well. But the lead up was really hard, for both of us.
He struggled with anxiety.
I struggled with anxiety.
He wondered why he has to get poked every single week for the rest of his foreseeable life.
I wondered how to help him accept that he has to get poked every single week for the rest of his foreseeable life.
The night before, I found myself feeling a little overwhelmed and desperate.
Not over any one thing – over all the things.
Mostly, I was freaking out a bit about having the be the one in charge of the infusion.
It is a step by step process, involving a syringe, tubing, more tubing, alcohol prep pads and a single dose of medicine that costs more than we make in a month. All must be painstakingly connected, piece by piece, and finally put into a pump that manages a careful flow.
The process essentially ends with me putting two separate needles into my son’s belly, and then watching him for any side effects or major issues for the next 3-4 hours.
So yes, I was freaking out a little.
Again, not over any one thing – over all the things.
I texted a close friend of mine who happens to be a nurse. She knew immediately, despite my half-hearted attempt at humor over the situation, that I was not OK.
Her response is what I want to share you with you today.
This is going to be hard at first, but you will get the hang of it. I’m sorry you have to do it and I know it is scary. But if there is anyone in the world that is going to be careful and meticulous with your son, it’s you.
It changed my whole internal debate.
Of course I would be much more careful, much more concerned and much more committed to his care. I am his mom.
Who better to do this every week for him, with him?
I am exactly the person for the job.
Who Is The Best Person To Help My Child With Special Needs?
Maybe you are in a situation like ours, struggling with a new medical treatment or procedure that has your heart in your throat.
Maybe you are trying to figure out if you will be homeschooling this fall and how it’s all going to work.
Maybe you have to change your child’s doctor, again, and you are not even sure where to begin.
Maybe you have no idea how to make it through another day, as your child’s anxiety, sensory issues and explosive behavior seem to increase, no matter what you do to try to help.
No matter what your circumstances, please hear me when I repeat my sweet friend’s wise words.
This is going to be hard at first, but you will get the hang of it. I’m sorry you have to do it and I know it is scary. But if there is anyone in the world that is going to be careful and meticulous in figuring this out for your child, it’s you.
You are your child’s mom for a reason. There is a plan and a purpose in all of this, and you are right in the middle of it with your sweet son or daughter.
You really are the very best person for the job.