So This Is 40

I turned 40 yesterday.

I am a 40 year old woman.

A 40 year old wife.

A 40 year old mom of two.

A 40 year old friend with other 40 year old friends and a few young-ins still in their 30’s.

A 40 year old daughter.

A 40 year old wife with a 40 year old husband.


In the days leading up to my birthday, I found myself remembering little things here and there – from my childhood, high school, my 20’s.

The one that thing that hit me yesterday is that God has been caring for me, seeing me, guiding me and loving me all along…even when I didn’t know it. Especially when I didn’t know it.

He has been doing it now for 40 years!

This morning, I am so confident the same is true for this day. He is here. He is protecting and caring for and loving me.

He does it though my husband, and my wonderful sweet friends, and my two precious boys, and my family.

Lately, He has also been loving me through all of you.

As this blog continues to grow, I find myself wrestling with it’s purpose and place in my life. I want to make sure that it is valuable, not just more noise in an already noisy world of blogs and social media and titles like “5 Things Moms Can Do To Be Better Moms”.

Every single time I doubt, one many of you comment or send me a message that affirms the purpose in this and brings peace to my heart.

Thank you for being honest and vulnerable and encouraging and supportive.

Thank you for sharing your really tough personal circumstances and your wonderful successes.

Thank you for making me cry as it hits me that I am so not alone, and that so many mommas, despite their circumstances, “get this”.

It is a privilege and an honor to be used by God in this way, and to be loved by Him through you and your experiences.

It is truly a wonderful gift.

Thank you so much.

Love, Shawna

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  1. First, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! It seems a lifetime ago that I turned 40…it’s been 15 difficult years. Second, you are far from alone in this journey. Yesterday we had a screaming, jumping up and down, throwing things meltdown because I dared to make a sandwich for his lunch…just as I’ve done once a week for 3 years now. I don’t know…

    1. Oh my goodness, I totally understand the sandwich meltdown and I am so sorry. It really can be so confusing and overwhelming and exhausting all at the same time. I am grateful that God shows me all the time that I am not alone in feeling this way, or even in having these experiences, through hearing from other momma’s like you!
      Thank you so much.

  2. Forgot to add…I don’t have words to tell you how much your blog has helped me take some deep breaths and remember that He has a plan for all this…and He’ll let me know what it is when HE is ready…not because I’m about to pull my own head off and throw it into traffic.

    1. Ha! I love the pull your heard off description.
      You have no idea how much your words have blessed me this morning.
      I am truly grateful.

  3. blah — 40 .. been there done that. It’s fine. My own darling wife, though, has been 39 for the past few years now.

    Something I really want to say though (apart from Happy Birthday), is that I love your blog. It’s a homely place far away from the frothy drama of Facebook Land. Whenever I read what you write, I just get it. I’m an Aspie myself, with an Aspie son. Anyways, deep down in my heart, I really believe you guys are going to be fine. You are on the right path. Don’t look to the left or the right. Keep your eyes on Him. Don’t worry about just being more noise in a noisy world. You have a genuine story to tell. Suffering or hard times never ever come from God. Whilst we all wish you all the best with that we are that’s all that most of us can do – only HE can can wish you the best AND make it happen too, and He will! You know He has good plans for your future; Bacon, Sourdough and Hubby (a silent hero).

    1. I am in tears. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the kind words, for speaking such truth, and for being such an encouragement.
      You made my day!

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