On time to lean
My first real job was working at McDonald’s.
The oldest child of 4 to a single mom desperately trying to put food on the table and pay the bills – there was never any question that I needed to bring in some income.
I applied the day I turned 16 and was eligible for employment. They hired me on the spot.
I worked there part time during the school year and full time during vacation weeks and summer breaks until I was 18.
Believe me when I say, it was the most difficult and demanding job I have ever had.
One of my shift managers was a 50-year-old woman named Veda. She had been at McDonald’s for more than a decade, working as a single mom to support her kids. At the time, I thought she was elderly, as my mom was still in her mid-30’s.
(It did not occur to me that I am now Veda’s age until typing that paragraph, so that’s fun.)
Veda was scary to everyone who worked for her, and especially to me. I was a people pleaser and wanted to do everything perfectly. She was critical and constantly barking out orders.
One of her favorite things to yell was “If you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean!” when she saw anyone not actively working for any length of time.
We would get past the breakfast rush and start to slow our pace a bit and Veda would yell out, “No time to lean,” as she grabbed spray bottles and a broom for us. At the end of the night when we closed, the crew would turn loud music on as we cleaned up the restaurant. Veda would yell over it, making sure we worked quickly and efficiently.
Working an 8 hour shift with Veda was absolutely exhausting.
With the exception of a 30 minute lunch and two ten minute breaks, it felt like I was running for my life all day long. Physically, I would come home from my shift smelling like oil and burgers, my legs shaky and totally spent. Emotionally, I was an anxious wreck from trying to make sure I didn’t disappoint anyone.
That $4.25/hour was hard won.
Lately, I’ve been hearing Veda’s voice in my head a lot.
When I struggle to get out of bed in the morning and decide to let myself sleep in.
When I spend time relaxing with my son.
When I read something for fun instead of work.
It feels like this is not the time to lean. I have two children who need me to support and care for them. This reality will not be changing any time soon.
“Rest and laughter are the most spiritual and subversive acts of all.”
Anne Lamott
I have been so fortunate to be able to survive the last year. It feels like a miracle.
My children have continued to receive the medical care they need, including an unexpected surgery. I was able to continue homeschooling my youngest through his high school graduation. We have a home that I absolutely love. I can even provide extras like rock climbing for my youngest and independent living for my oldest.
I have loving, wonderful friends who emotionally and financially have kept me afloat.
I truly feel blessed all the way down to my very soul.
And…
It has felt like an 8 hour shift with Veda, every single day.
It’s not sustainable. I know this. I need to figure out how to build in some time to lean.
“I don’t know how, but I know Who”
Beth Moore
One more story about Veda before I go because, although she was an absolute drill sergeant, she became my favorite manager.
A man came through the drive through one afternoon and ordered a hamburger with no pickles. (Hamburgers were 29 cents at the time. I am definitely now as old as Veda.)
I took his order through the speaker, his payment at the window, and then asked him to park because it was a “special order” without the pickles. For whatever reason, it took forever for the grill team to make his burger.
When it was finally ready, I walked it outside to him. He was furious for having to wait. I apologized sincerely and then walked back into the restaurant. I was almost back behind the counter, when he came storming in behind me. As I turned, he hurled the hamburger at my face.
The person making the burger had misunderstood me and made the burger with extra pickles.
This man really threw a 29 cent hamburger at a 16-year-old girl because of 4 little misplaced pickles. When it hit my face, I immediately started to cry.
As the man turned to leave, Veda ran towards him. She grabbed him by the arm, spun him around, marched him back over to me and yelled at him to apologize.
You did not mess with Veda.
Later in my shift, she pulled me aside and told me how proud she was of me and that she loved working with me. She told me I was smart and capable, and that she knew I would not work at McDonalds for long. She said she wanted me to go places and get a good job where I would be respected and never be in a situation where a customer could treat me like that again.
Looking at my life today, I realize 16-year-old Shawna would be so proud of what I have been able to accomplish this year, and of the life I am creating.
So would Veda.
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