I am so tired of being encouraged to be a warrior mom. It’s too much and it’s so unfair.
We got back significant results from my son’s most recent blood tests yesterday.
They are extensive. They are the most comprehensive look at what has been going on in his body for three years. They show a child that is suffering. They show this has not been all in my head or his.
The results show that my little boy needs serious help fast.
I have yet to talk comprehensively with his doctor, so I will not share details yet.
I do want to say this – I am so very angry this morning. It took one test for one doctor, of so very many all along the way, to order.
No one did. Instead, doctor after doctor, therapist after therapist, hospital after hospital, failed us over and over again.
Honestly, I can handle this part. I know he’s complicated. I know it’s tricky. I know it’s not protocol. I really do understand the treatment failures.
What I am angry about this morning is the pride, the arrogance and the flat-out dismissal of a mom and a child begging for help. I want to scream at the doctor who was so sure I was enabling behavior and the therapist who told me she couldn’t help because my son “didn’t want help.”
If you are facing this same disrespect and flat-out indifference from the very professionals who are paid to help, all I can say this morning is that I am sorry.
And, unfortunately, you are not alone. It’s why they tell us we need to be warrior moms.
I am often called a “Warrior Mom.”
I am given this title because I have had to fight, bitterly, to get treatment and help for both of my sons.
Although I am a little uncomfortable with the title, I guess it is an appropriate description for what I am.
I go to battle every single day, in so many ways for these kids. But least you think I’m bragging or that you should be impressed, please hear me when I say –
I am a warrior because I am forced to be. I have to fight, what feel like soul-sucking, bloody battles all the time for my children, not because I am strong, but because I am left no choice.
I am angry this morning.
I am tired of the fight.
Every time I look at the results that show the level of devastation in his body, I feel a mixture of frustration, nausea and fear.
I don’t want to be a warrior mom.
I just want to be a mom.
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